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Broken hearts....And Fucked up lies [entries|friends|calendar]
Courthead

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(Cut Me)

Im back bitches [07 Feb 2006|01:24pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

Im back and kicking! Woot woot anyway lets recap everything thats happened since Ive been away.

*October 2004*
--------------
*Moved To Tennessee*
*Met a boy named Justin*
*Started Dating*

*December 2004*
---------------
*Me and Justin Broke Up*

*January 2005*
--------------
*My mom kicked me out*
*Moved in with My best friend Becca*

*March*
-------
*Me and Becca start dating*

*May*
-----
*I graduated from Lenoir City High*

*September*
-----------
*Broke up with Becca*
*Started Dating Scott*
*Started College*

*November*
----------
*Dumped Scott*
*Started Dating Becca again*
*Got my Apartment*

*December*
----------
*Becca Got me a puppy for christmas*

*January 2006*
--------------
*Becca broke up with me*

*February*
----------
*Started Dating Dustin*
*My best friends fiance moved in with me*
*My Boyfriend lives with me*
*Looking for a bigger place to live :)*

Anyway. Im back on top :) Ive got my computer and cable hooked up so everyone lets start keeping intouch again hoes!

I love you all

(Cut Me)

Updation woot woot [28 Oct 2005|11:25am]
So0o0o0o0o I havent updated in awhile. Im not much of a partier anymore. No more drugs, No more anything. Im in college and Im Happy. Im talking to old friends again and making new ones as well. Im in a relationship, and although I still have strong feelings for someone else, I do very much like the person I am with. Im getting my apartment soon. I actually go today to sign my lease woot woot Im so excited!!!!. I really wanna go to the corn maze tonight but I dont think my boyfriend will wanna go so I guess im spending another night alone.....

(2 Perfect slitsCut Me)

[09 Feb 2005|02:53pm]
Im coming to Florida March 20th - 28th... I'll Be 18!! FUCK YEA!!

If you wanna hang out with my cool ass leave me a message. Call my Cell 865-382-1645 or email me oxgangstabonexo@aol.com

<3Me

(2 Perfect slitsCut Me)

[17 Dec 2004|02:43pm]
I havent updated inawhile. I suck I know. Anywho I talked to Ashley and were good again!! I miss Carmy and Everyone in Fl!

Carmy You added me back I LOVE YOU!!!!
I miss your ass
I cant wait to come back to Florida we are all going to hang out damnit!!!

p.s TOPHER IS CRAZY

(1 Perfect slitsCut Me)

[28 Nov 2004|07:59pm]
You Turned your back on me
When I needed you the most
You walked away from me
When I was scared and so Close
So close to suicide
So Close to death
You kept me alive
Held my last breath
You ripped it away
Krept up and stole it
Like a thief in the night
Left me hanging there
Gasping for Air
I didnt feel right
my world turned blue
My eyes cold and black
my cheeks a painful pink
Oxygen was what I lacked
You can change that
You can bring me back to life
You can help me
But your words cut like a knife
You Leave me crying in the dark
You let me feel unloved
TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL
HONESTLY and TRUTHFULLY
Tell me you LOVE me
Tell me you NEED me
Tell me you CANT live WITHOUT me
And then everything will be OK

(2 Perfect slitsCut Me)

[28 Nov 2004|12:45pm]
[ mood | sad ]

The only person I care about it this world. Hates me. I fucked up again. He told me to go back to Fl. So I am. my grandparents are here from Florida they came up yesterday when my mother called them.... I'm gonna go with them back to Florida. There not leaving for acouple days though so0o0o0o blah blah blah. I just wish Justin knew how much I loved him. I think going to fl is for the best though, at least one of will be happy. ( Him not I ) I make him so miserable. I thought I made him happy but I dont. I really love this kid. I love him more than anything. He is my everything too bad he doesnt see that to bad he doesnt love me anymore.

- HeartBroken
I Love You JustinCollapse )

(Cut Me)

wooooooork [27 Nov 2004|07:41pm]
work sucks. I love it but I work to many effin hours. 4 yesterday 7 today and 7 tomorrow then I work

Monday Tuesday and thursday 4-8 and Saturday and sunday BUTTTTTTTT im calling off Saturday for Justins purposes!!! Gatlinburg here we come!!

P.s I hate Katie.

<3

(Cut Me)

Me gusta Justin Gallagher. [26 Nov 2004|12:56pm]
[ mood | happy ]

well I got new tires today woot woot. So0o0o0o Happy. but I cant get them on because my mother wont give me 15 or 20 dollars for getting them put on I have to wait til I get a paycheck. What Bullshit. God. Anyway, yesterday was fun I hung with Shawn, Becca and Justin. We had fun. Im so inlove with Justin its amazing. I love this feeling. It makes me so happy. Well I gotta work today from 4pm ujntil 8pm. Justin gets off at 12 so0o0o0o0o0o I dunno if were going to hang out or not. lol I work tomorrow from 12pm - 7pm and then sunday 12pm- 7pm! Woot Woot. La dee da da da mwuahahah Im so excited to work I cant wait until I get my first paycheck!!!

Justins birthday is the 5th
I got him
4 Tickets to Gatlinburg, for me him becca and shawn and then 50$ for some Ps2 games and Im getting him a playstation I believe. Im not sure if Im gonna get the ps2 or not though, depends on how much money my father sends me for my tires to get fixed.

We are going to have so much fun in gatlinburg!!!! Im all excitedmafied.

Tata4Now


///edit\\\
I simply fucking asked my mother when we were going to get a christmas tree and kenny steps in with him big fucking mouth and was like anything that ever comesout of your fucking mouth is you wanting something. NO ASSHOLE I WAS SIMPLY ASKING SO SHUT THE FUCK UP DICKWAD. I hate him. I hate him again. Im doing so0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o fucking good and you could give a rats ass well FUCK YOU. have a nice day

(Cut Me)

[25 Nov 2004|02:54pm]
They Think im alittle obsessed....Collapse )

I Love Justin.

picture picture pictureCollapse )

Happy Thanksgiving to All.

Here are my thanks
------------------
TO HAVE SUCH WONDERFUL FRIENDS.

Christina, Hayhay, Becca, Amber,Shawn, Justin, Brandon
To have a family that I think loves me sometimes
To have a wonderful sister
A car that even though its not working right now, at least its a car
A Job
And the fact that I love myself enough now to love someone else :)
And that my friend is the best feeling in the world.

Well im sposed to hang out with Brandon tonight so ima go take myself a shower!!! Hopefully justin will call me when he gets off work!

///Edit\\\
----------
My mother took away my phone. You must call my House from now on 988-4182
Sorry. Im going to have my father buy me a phone seeing as my mother is listening to Captain asshole. I cant believe that Kenny would say such horrid things to me like how I fuck up everyday and he doesnt want to listen to anything I say and just wants me on a bus back to Florida. GAH I hate him. Thats why im never home. I cant stand to be around his ass. Little bitch :)

Justin got his cast off yesterday he was so spiffy without it on :) teehee and he gives great hugs with 2 arms hehe

Gosh I love him. He is so amazing. So is Becca and Shawn I really do love them all. Shawms coming over at 6 to fix my car so hopefully I will be able to drive to Beccas house tonight <3

Tata for now
Call the house if you need me 865-988-4182

P.s I failed again. I did it. I fucking did it. No one will ever know where though. hahahah FUCK YOU ALL who knew I would fail. I tried so hard I tried extremlly hard. I was doing so well. Sooooo fucking well.
I had stopped for such along time. I didnt give up on myself, until everyone else did. All this Drama with Tasha, all the lies all the hatred all the bullshit, Katies bullshit, my parents bullshit is just driving me absolutely BONKERS True Friends huh? Yea TRUE fucking friends. Well I cant say much for Tasha cause I stopped our friendship myself and the only reason why I made that picture that way was cause Justin told me too plus tasha was talking shit so I mean I got fucking angry. but Katie, katie is a lame excuse for a friend. A USER. She reminds me of an OLD me. A Fucked up crazy little girl. an attention wanter. I love the girl to death I really do but she failed me. She showed me her true colors. I tried to help her will Becca more than anything else. I tried so hard to make her like me and nothing I did mattered to her cause well she just didnt ever give to shits about me. So I give up on her. Im not going to beg her to be my friend. she tells me shes jealous of me because she thinks me and becca are a thing. HUNNY becca is my best friend MY TRUE FUCKING FRIEND. and I do love her yes. But not like that. As Tasha says im "obsessed" with Justin. So everyone should just get over themselves. Anyway theres been to much DRAmA and bullshit to go around so I know longer trust anyone but Becca Shawn and Justin and Amber! Im no longer going to go around in school and be little ole happy me. No not going to happen. Im going back to my I HATE EVERYONE IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNLESS YOUR A SELECT FEW. Maybe someday when people earn they're trust back I may come out of my shell again. But this was the last straw I was hurt to badthis time by someone I used to trust with my life. The lies the hate that she inflicted upon me cut like a knife. I thought I was going to loose someone so dear to my heart because of lies and hate. Luckily I did not.
I Love you justin
I Love you Becca
I Love you Shawn
I Love you Amber

(Cut Me)

[25 Nov 2004|02:28pm]
Put an X in the ones youve never done
( ) I've Never Been Drunk
( ) I've Never Smoked Pot
( ) I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
( ) I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) I've Never Crashed A Friend's Car
(X) I've Never Been To Japan
( ) I've Never Been In A Taxi
( ) I've Never Been In Love
( ) I've Never Had Sex In Public
( ) I've Never Been Dumped
( ) I've Never Done Cocaine
( ) I've Never Shoplifted
( ) I've Never Been Fired
( ) I've Never Been In A Fist Fight
(X) I've Never Had Group Intercourse
( ) I've Never Snuck Out Of My Parent's House
(X) I've Never Been Tied Up
(X) I've Never Been Caught Masturbating
( ) I've Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
( ) I've Never Been Arrested
( ) I've Never Made Out With A Stranger
(X) I've Never Stolen Something From My Job
(X) I've Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square
(X) I've Never Gone On A Blind Date
( ) I've Never Lied To A Friend
( ) I've Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
(X) I've Never Celebrated Mardi-Gras In New Orleans
(X) I've Never Had Sex in a Gas Station
( ) I've Never Been To Europe
( ) I've Never Skipped School
(X) I've Never Slept With A Co-Worker
( ) I've Never Cut Myself On Purpose
(X) I've Never Had Sex At The Office
(X) I've Never Been Married
(X) I've Never Been Divorced
(X) I've Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week
(X) I've Never Posed Nude
(X) I've Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
(X) I've Never Killed Anyone
(X) I've Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
( ) I've Never Thrown Up In A Bar
( ) I've Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire
( ) I've Never Eaten Sushi
(X) I've Never Been Snowboarding
(X) I've Never Had Sex At A Friend's House While They Were Throwing A Party
(X) I've Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room
( ) I've Never Flashed Anyone
( ) I've Never Met Anyone From Online

(2 Perfect slitsCut Me)

[24 Nov 2004|12:17pm]
From the Wonderful Camille......

DAybiTmE: hey they dont like shoot their own turkeys over there do they
DAybiTmE: like ur not going turkey hunting or anything are you?

lmao No camille they dont shoot there turkeys.

Anyways my tire blew yesterday at 12:00am.... Justin came out to make sure I was ok it was really sweet then he follered me home to make sure I was ok and stayed with me til about 1:15am we hugged and talked and He was just really amazing. Thats why I love him so much. Were doing so muich better. I love it when we dont fight Im so proud of us!!! I really am

(4 Perfect slitsCut Me)

Beccas House NUkka [21 Nov 2004|07:04pm]
Well me and Justin are still broken up, thats sad but what can I do about it. Things are getting better between us and im very happy spending time with him even if we arent together. I love him alot. You dont even understand.

ALot of Drama happened this weekend which has made me come to the conclusion that Im never talking to Tasha again and that shes a dumb bitch. I never called her a slut shawn did but oh fucking well no one listens to me.

Me Becca and Justin and shawn are going to Gatlinburg sometime soon To spend a weekend its going to be the shiznits. Me Justin Becca And SHawn all have jobs as well.

Justin= Movie Theatre at 5.25 / 5.50 an hour
Becca = Little Ceasers at 5.50 / 6.00 an hour
Shawn = Little Ceasers at 5.50 / 6.00 an hour
and Me= E-Z Stop Gas station at 6.00 / 6.50 an hour

Thats wicked. Anywho. THere is No School Wednesday Thursday and Friday and my grandmother and Grandfather are coming up soon!! Im so excited to see them.

Justins Birthday is December 5th hes gonna be 18!!!! Im gonna try to get him that playstation he wants but if I dont have enough by the 5th Im just going to give him what money ive made (So Far only 50$) So0o0o0 I still got another 100 to go in 14 days! Oh man thats like 7 $ a day!!!

Well Im at beccas and were getting ready to watch a movie, Justin gets off work in about 2 1/2 hours so were going to hang out then!!

Ta Ta For Now.

I <3 Justin


P.s Beccas a really good cook *Sarcasm*

(Cut Me)

[16 Nov 2004|08:59pm]
Hey everyone. Well Ive had a wonderful day!!! I called Ashley today. I never realised how much I missed her until today but I called her and were on good terms. Im wicked happy.

All is well with me and justin. Everyone says were going to get back together, I dont think so though. I do love him though, and i know he loves me as well

me becca and shawn are getting an apartment soon were going to try to anyways I already put in .28cents :) Towards our house fund woot woot

Well I love becca to death <3 I hope you feel better babe All will go well!!!

I Love Justin <333333

I Love AShley <3333

(2 Perfect slitsCut Me)

[12 Nov 2004|10:31am]
Justin Broke up with me.

I give up.

I JUST FUCKING GIVE UP.

Ive never been so happy. I guess im not sposed to be happy. Im sposed to be miserable for the rest of my life

(Cut Me)

Dont Leave me Hanging....... I know you love me [11 Nov 2004|04:58pm]
So yesterday was FUCKING rad! Me Becca Katie Justin and Shawn all went to this haunted house and scared the patooties outta ourselfs and then went to beccas and watched The "Blair Witch Project" it was hella fun. I got to sit and makeout with justin and Katie and Becca got to make out too lmao It was like an orgy :) Cept Funner.

Yesterday Shawn bought me Roses it was really sweet. I wish Justin would do sweet shit like that :(

Anyways today me Justin katie and becca are going to this City to have fun :) mwahahhaha Sounds fun. I love hanging out with Becca and Katie they are so fucking rad <3 Much love for my little girlies! teehee *giggle giggle FART*

Anywho Ich Liebe Justin. Florida Du Kanst Mich Mal Am Arsch Leckon. Aufwiedersan

Ciao

<3 The happiest girl alive

(Cut Me)

[09 Nov 2004|02:22pm]
I left school early today. I just didnt feel good. I felt all shitty inside for reasons known as well as unknown. Katie called me while she was at school. Much love Nigg :) I really would love to see Justin today but since I came home early the only way I'll be able to see him is if he comes to my house which I dought he will seeing as he never wants to see me anymore. I havent seen him since saturday and when I did see him saturday he didnt talk to me at all just sat at the bowling ally playing with craig.

I LOVE YOU You make me so happy even when Im miserable. Just thinking of you makes me smile :) I honestly truthfully am happy with you and I love you more than anything.

EDIT Someones going around telling everyone I called Justin Gay and my cousin GAY as well so justin is mad at me he says hes giving up on everything. I think that means me. God I love him so much. God. I really do I dont know what im going to do if I lose him. I dont ever cry and Im balling so bad its sickning.

Here are some Icons that are wicked sad and remind me of myself and Justin



(Cut Me)

[08 Nov 2004|04:11pm]
Today is the first day in about a week that you came to see me after every class period. You made me feel so wonderful. See its the little things that you do that make me the happiest person alive. I love you so much you dont even understand. My only hopes are that we see each other this afternoon, even if its just hanging out at yours or my house.

I LOVE YOU

<3Courtney

here are pictures.... of me Justypoo and Tasha and Halloween

You can always find me... Well have halloween on christmas...Collapse )

I hate myself.
I told myself I wasnt going to call him.
I need to "wear the pants in this relationship" as tasha says
I gave in. I called him.
I knew Id be upset if I called him.
I knew he wouldnt want to see me.

I GIVE UP
I Honestly give up.

Heres how the convo went...

Me:Hey what are you doing tonight
Justin:Nothing getting ready to go out
Me.Oh
*Silence*
Me:So what are you going to do when you get home
Justin:Prolly take a shower and then go to sleep
Me:Oh.
*silence*
Me;Nevermind then
Justin:Why?
Me:Because I wanted to see you
Justin:Oh.
*Silence*
Me:Ok bye
::Hangs up::
Im not mad. Im really not I just hate dissapointing myself. I knew he wasnt going to want to see me and yet I called him anyway.

Im so dissapointed in myself for even trying.
Justin says giving up is so much easier to do then trying.
So Your right. I give up its easier than trying SO hard in something that doesnt want to be done.

When you wanna see me. Give me a call.
Love. Heartbroken.

(1 Perfect slitsCut Me)

[07 Nov 2004|07:47pm]
I dont want to lose you.

I feel like were drifting away...

Im NOT going to lose you.

p.s I effin Love Becca and Katie like for real!! They make me feel so happy inside!! They are Rad mofos :). Thanks for helping me with the whole being sad thing Yall rock totally!! We def gotta chill sometime after schooL!!!

(Cut Me)

[03 Nov 2004|04:25pm]
Things the last couple of days have been rough. Me and Justin were kinda in our lows the other day I dont know why. Justin was just really sad and took it out on everyone. including me. When he realised how upset he made me he invted me over for a makeout session on the couch :) We went to celebration station for a good ole putput time :) I kicked his ass mwhahaha Tonigh me Tasha Justin and Shawn are going Bowling I hope!!!



I <3 Justin
Its been 2 weeks today that weve been going out
and the best two weeks of my life!

(1 Perfect slitsCut Me)

[30 Oct 2004|01:57pm]
Halloween. Woot Woot.

YEsterday was fun I went with Tasha and Justin to the Bowling ally. What we were sposed to do was go to the movies to see saw but Tn has a rule that you have to be 18 to see rated R movies and the only one over 18 was Tyler some WEIRD kid Tasha brought (But never met until last night)

Justin has been sick for a few days so we havent been really um how do you say...... KISSING ugh! but yesterday he caved :) <3 Yey. I win I love being with him he makes me so happy

He told me he loved me yesterday. I was in shock I didnt know what to say I like hugged him after he said it and then was like WHAT?! did you just say? and then he repeated it "I love you alot" and I was like "oh" and hugged him again and then realised I wasnt saying anything so I was like "I love you too" and boy I meant it with Everything inside of me.You dont undetstand how long Ive been wanting to say that.

WEll anyways. Tonight me and Tasha and Justin and this cute kid from the bowling ally last night are going to Knoxville to mess around. We were sposed to go to a partry but the girl crashed her car and doesnt think she can go out tonight soooooooooooooooooooooooooo were gonna party in knoxville <3

Ill post pictures tomorrow

I <3 You all
I LOVE JUSTIN

\\\Edit///
---------
Justin isin't going with me tonight. We got into an argument and I told him I was going to knoxville with some other guy and Tasha and he called back and was like well since were not going out tonight me and Criag are going bowling. It all started because he was with craig and Ithought he didnt wanna chill it was a simple missunderstanding. but now were in a fight and I refuse to call him. I doubt hes going to call me either.

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